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July 2025 |
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Reginald Aglio Dibdin
Rex
1883-1957
Analytical Chemist - Engineer
Appendix 5
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Letters
from William Joseph Dibdin, and Gerard Cowham and Dr George Robertson
during Rex’s Illness
Letters from William Joseph Dibdin to his son Rex while Rex
was in Hospital Notes Marvins
refers to the family of Elsie, Rex’s wife Marg
is Margaret Cowham, married to the vicar Gerard Cowham. She was William
J Dibdin’s daughter. These
letters were written to Rex at The Old Manor in Salisbury into which he
entered on 21 March 1923 April
15, 1923 Dear
Rex How
are you getting on now? We
shall be glad to hear. Your last note was so cheerful and promising that
we are greedy for more. Do
not hesitate to write and let us know if we can do anything for you. I
am sorry to say that Mother has had another of her heart attacks and
gave us a fright but the Doctor thinks she will soon be about again. Have
you got your flute with you? It
will be nice to hear it again as I hope to do soon.
Did
you get the cigarettes? I
send you a variety so that you can let me know which you prefer next
time. Write
and tell me how you are getting on generally.
Our hearts are constantly with you.
A good cheerful letter will do more and buck up old Mother and
much more than anything else. With
dearest love Your
affectionate old dad W
J Dibdin 25
April 1923 Dear
Rex A
Mr. Douglas of ????? Lane
has written to me advising that Dr. Mosley has told him that I would be
kind enough if send a small quantity of solution for killing ??????. Don’t
you think that it would be as well to let him have this, in the same way
I send out test solutions? We
may as well get what we can in this way as any other. It’s no use hiding our light under a bushel because we
can’t get all we want. One
never knows what may turn up. Lets
me know at once if you agree and I will send it on, charging a Guinea
for it. I
am sorry to say that the cash question is as usual, only a few pounds
left for paying rent etc. We
are, as you know absolutely fed up here and Marvin writes Lionel that he
will not have you near, so the best thing to do will be to lie low and
rest all you can until you can get a satisfactory discharge or whatever
you call it, from the home when you should be able to resume work again. I
feel also a little stupid about it all, but that’s nothing new, you
will say. I really begin to
think that after all, hard work is the last thing wanted in this world
and when coupled with simple honesty of purpose it is an abomination.
But here we are, I have staked my all on that and I must abide by
the decision of fate and wait and hope.
Mother has had a very bad heart attack, but is now a little
better. Got out into the
garden for a few minutes today. Marg
is still about; Marian and the children are well. There
is really no other news. I
long to hear goods reports of your health. I
am yours affectionately W J Dibdin May
9 1923 Dear
Rex Our
Sunday morning last Marg presented Gerard with a fine girl.10 ½ lbs and
23 inches long. ………..?
Margaret and baby (Mary, Margaret) are now doing famously.
????????????? Next
news is that Marian and children sail for Australia either at the end of
this month or early in June and she is now making all the arrangements. Paul
having received an appointment as part teacher at Geelong at £400
pounds per annum. There
is now a liner ready for them to go. And the future will show what other
work he will get. There
is really no other news. Mother
has had a very bad time, being in bed for a fortnight, but is now out
and about again. No
fresh work has come in. My Sutton and Croydon ????????????
as usual. How
are you getting on? I
never felt my impoverished condition more than I do now, as it leaves me
so utterly helpless, but I do my best to keep hopeful and trust that the
wheel will turn again and, in our favour, before I have done with it.
So that I can leave all straight. Mother
sends her dearest love. When
you were at Barston
Road,
she left us time, that she used to pull you through and feels
that she can do nothing under the present circumstances but hope
and pray. I
shall see Lionel on Saturday and shall be glad to be able to give a good
account to him. My
dearest love I am your affectionate to dad WJ
Dibdin. May
16 1923 Dear
Rex I
got your letter this morning and immediately sent offer a supply of
cigarettes
which I hope will arrive safely.
You do not say which brand you prefer, so I sent two. We
saw the account of the attack on Dr. Martin which plainly stated that
The Old Manor was a lunatic asylum. I
wrote to Dr. Martin recently and he kindly replied that you were well
and comfortable. He
laid more stress on what he called your “Garrulousness”, evidently
your powers of conversation covering so wide a range of subjects do not
impress him favourably. Would
it not be better to try the other tack and by keeping as quiet as
possible induce him to give a certificate for health, so that you can
take up your work again. As
you know I protested all through that your mental condition was not at
fault but the Marvins would have their way, nevertheless, I warned you,
you will remember against the attempt which would be made to get you
away and by a trick they succeeded. Now,
try the other tack. Lie
low, keep quiet get Dr. Martins to give you a clean bill of health and
head for fresh air and work again.
If you came out just now, what are you going to do. I
am cleaned dazed with it all. Although
Elsie said she was ill yet she could write a seven-page letter to Lionel
so she must have been very bad! Have
you thought of re-applying for your pension again? Surely if anyone suffered from the after effects of the war
you have, and your case ought to receive consideration. It
is no good seeing a solicitor, and running up more bills to meet when
one can only grumble along on the little one gets. Don’t
imagine you are there in connection with any “authorities”.
They don’t care a bean about you or anyone else and you may
safely dismiss those mysterious entities from your mind. With
best loved from your affectionate dad W
J Dibdin July
2 1923 Dear
Rex I
have received a long letter from Elsie in which she states that she
cannot keep up the payments to The Old Manor after July and that I must
do what I can for the future. I
have accordingly seen my old colleague Mr. Reece, the clerk of the
asylum
of the LCC and he has promised to do all that he can to help me
to meet the charges at the Maudsley Hospital where you will be as free
as you are now and more so. I
now want you to send me a letter stating that you are willing to go
there and I will arrange all the rest.
No need to worry about details.
They are for me. I
feel certain that it will not be long before you will feel the benefits
of the change. Dr.
Mott is not there now. Please
send me this letter at once as the time is short. I enclose a stamped addressed envelope and paper for reply. With
heartfelt love from Mother, Lettie and
?? I
am your affectionate Dad WJ
Dibdin and
July
6th 1923 Dear
Rex I
sincerely hope that you will reconsider the position. The fees at the
Maudsley in this special case may not be more than 10/- per week and
that is the extent of my influence. I will not enter on the various points you raise, but trust
time will enable you to take other views.
If you if send a letter agreeing to go to Maudsley all can be
easily arranged and you will not be under compulsion to stop there any
more than you are now, but the difference is that we will manage somehow
the reduced fee there, but I have not the money to pay for Salisbury as
it would leave practically nothing to keep your mother and myself alive. Hoping
for your letter commenting on my suggestions.
Otherwise, I am absolutely powerless.
From affectionately W J Dibdin Rex
entered the Maudsley on the 3rd August 1923 From
Gerard Cowham Rex’s Brother in Law 6
Chestnut Road West
Norwood 7th May 1923 My
Dear Rex If
you will be delighted to hear that Margaret was safely delivered of a
daughter yesterday at 12.45pm. Having
kept us waiting for a fortnight Margaret suddenly made up her mind to
move and then produced a 10 ½ ib 23 ½ inches long babe in a little
over 7 hours. Margaret
is very well and only slightly torn, and Mary is the “pink limit”
for fatness and boniness. If
already she is looking out on life with the calm reflective gaze of a
true philosopher. She
is without spots or blemish and with many wrinkles. I
think you will be very proud of your niece. I
am glad to hear that you are beginning to put on some much needed the
fat, I hope you are getting used to the necessary irksomeness of
hospital routine. One
thing you have had is a hardening in that discipline already.
Our prayers are going up for you daily. With
love yours ever Gerard 6
Chestnut Road West
Norwood 3
Sept 1923 My
Dear Rex Mother
has told me of your intention to leave the Maudsley tomorrow. I
am very sorry to hear it for several reasons. First
for the sake of your health. The
Dr. tells me that you are considerably improved in your health since
being there. Secondly
for the sake of your livelihood.
If you maintain the improvements that has begun there will be
little doubt that the doctors will certify you as fit to resume work,
which they will not do at present. If
you come away without such a certificate, it is going to make it very
difficult to move the LCC to reinstate you after your sick leave. And what other chance is there of your getting a restart. Sadly,
while this prolonged rest is still necessary, where else is there for
you to stay except in some similar institution. I
would gladly offer you a bed sitting room here for that we shall be
moving so soon (Lettie told you of my new appointment as lecturer of
Bolton Parish Church didn’t she?) And besides we are both so
drivingly the busy that I am afraid you would be desperately lonely. There
remains Idmidston Road for you to go to.
Frankly I don’t think you ought to go. You
can have little idea how your people have
aged during the last six months. You
know only a week or so ago mother had a very bad heart attack, and
father is getting very frail. I
am afraid we must recognize the fact that they are both in a state
where a very little upset or extra strain would easily kill them both.
Put bluntly the extra expense of you staying would mean that
they would have to get rid of the resident help whom they have just
engaged. Which means that
all the strain of housekeeping would fall full on mother just as at
last it has been lightened for a few months by Lettie and now this new
woman. My
dear fellow it is just because I am in the position to see the facts
with more detachment than anyone else so intimately concerned that I
take upon me to write in this strain to you, trusting to your
generosity to pardon any impertinence you may feel. There
is a further consideration, which you are Dr. enough to understand
better than I. Your
present weakened condition is the result of prolonged nervous strain
to which you have been subject from various causes.
Inevitably at home you will be more lonely and without the
society that you have at present even if this be none too congenial,
wherein you have my full sympathies.
This must throw you open to these insidious temptations of
brooding over the past. The
“ruthless ploughing of the waste sands of time” which never
produces any crop but Jason’s Dragon’s Teeth; a host of mutually
destructive devils, who sleigh and work and wreck to no purpose but
the multiplication of misery. My
dear fellow, with all the sincerity that is in me, I would urge you
for your own sake and for the sake of your father and mother, to hold
on where you are for another month until you will be fit to resume
work, enduring steadfastly the almost inevitable small ills and the
irritations of an institution. Believe
me to be with sincere affection your brother
Gerard. There
is much more to be said and has be documented about the birth of Mary
and her upbringing, and of Gerard and his wife’s ability to boss
people about. All
that he has had to say needs to be thrown into the pot and considered
from many points of view. Bronllys 72
Thurlow Park Road Dulwich 21-4-23 Dear
Mr Dibdin How
are you going along? I
have often wondered whether the change or not have made you feel A1
again. I wish you could
hurry up and get well, and get back again to follow at your various
scientific pursuits, it seems that the public authorities nowadays are
willing to pay a fairly decent income for anything except brains.
If
take my own job, I may have to worry out some complicated blood
disease or some very obscure abdominal tumour, the next day have to
remove tonsils and adenoids. When
it comes to feed the latter is well paid although little more than a
carpenter’s job, anyhow I should much prefer to do it than many
things a working man does every day. Kind
regards yours sincerely Bronllys 72
Thurlow Park Road Dulwich 30-4-23 Dear
Mr Dibdin Many
thanks for letting me hear how you are going along. I have just had your mother in bed for the best part of a
fortnight for her heart and Mr. Dibdin is none too well either.
I feel sure if they want to do what they feel is best for you,
and if they are wrong in their opinion they mean well.
Of course, you are at liberty to come out if you care to do so
at any time, but surely it is best to stop there for a while longer if
you are made quite comfortable. There is a place near shooters hill where people go for a
rest to a. I had a lady
there lately who derived much benefit from it, it is rather expensive
and I don’t expect it is as good as where you are.
I had no idea who the specialist was that Maitland got to see
you. The thing to do is to get fit and get back to work again as
soon as possible Kind
regards yours sincerely George Robertson. |